Wolf of her Own Read online

  The wind washed over her as she watched the spot where Mikhail had disappeared into the woods. After about five minutes, she knew he wasn’t coming back and finally shut the door.

  After a quick sniff of the air, she decided the place still smelled of Mikhail and opened several windows. That way, it could air out while she was taking a shower. As much as she wanted to keep Mikhail’s scent on her skin, that wasn’t wise.

  Her bra was on the floor by the sofa, and she scooped it up on her way to her bedroom. It went straight into the hamper, as did her jeans, socks, and underwear. She started to toss her sweater in as well but stopped at the last second. She brought the garment to her face and inhaled. It smelled like Mikhail. She rubbed her face over it one final time before dumping it into the hamper.

  “He’ll be back tomorrow.” A bubble of excitement grew inside her, and she put one hand on her stomach. Her sense of anticipation and wonder grew.

  She’d just had her first orgasm. And it had been a doozy.

  Her entire body was still humming with pleasure. She wrapped her arms around herself and laughed. Now she knew what all the fuss was about.

  All those years with Pierre had left her believing there was something wrong with her, that she was different from other women. Broken.

  She snorted and padded into the bathroom. Yeah, her only problem had been her mate. There was nothing wrong with her sexual responses when it was the right man.

  Elise turned on the water and adjusted it so it was warm. She might be a wolf, but she hated cold showers. She stepped beneath the spray and hissed when it hit her skin. It was still sensitive. He’d read her body like an open book. She didn’t want to think about how he’d come to have that kind of knowledge. Unlike her, he’d undoubtedly had multiple partners over the course of his life. He was, after all, a healthy male werewolf.

  Scowling slightly, she grabbed the sponge she used to wash and covered it in body wash. She had to use a lighter touch than normal. Her entire body was like one live wire, sparking at the faintest contact.

  When the last of the shampoo filtered down the drain, Elise turned off the water and reached for a towel. She bundled her wet hair into it and then reached for another. She patted her skin dry, grateful it was no longer quite as sensitive. She took her time and rubbed lotion over her arms and legs and then her body. That simple action, one she’d done thousands of times before, went from being a chore to a sensual activity.

  Mikhail had changed her at a fundamental level. She wasn’t the same women she’d been when she woke this morning. She was aware of herself as a woman, and of her body as more than a necessary machine that had to be maintained.

  She looked at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. Outwardly, she looked calm and composed. Inwardly, she was a seething cauldron of emotions.

  She pulled the towel off her head and reached for her hair dryer. She thought about leaving it down, but she never did that.

  Maybe she would next time Mikhail came to visit.

  She quickly braided her hair, tidied the bathroom, and went to her bedroom to dress. Satisfied she’d done all she could to clean Mikhail’s scent from her body, she went back into her living area. It was cold there now, the chill from the January air purging any remaining smells.

  Elise closed the windows and went to the woodstove. The fire had burned down, but she stirred the embers and added some wood, and in no time, she had it crackling once again.

  She stood in front of the stove, enjoying the heat and sound of the small blaze before heading to the window seat. She groaned and pressed her forehead against the cool glass. A wolf howled in the distance. It was Gator calling them to dinner. She raised her head and pressed her fingers against the glass. Mikhail was out there somewhere, running wild and free. For one crazy minute, she thought about shifting and joining him. But he was right. She needed some alone time to process everything.

  Maybe this was a good time to practice some night photography. The snow flurry had passed, leaving the trees wrapped in a pristine cloak of white. With that thought, she scooted off the window seat, went to the kitchen, and grabbed her phone off the counter. She called Jacque and said a prayer of thanks when it went to voicemail. After leaving a quick message, she pulled on a light jacket, grabbed her camera and the bag with her lenses and other equipment, and quietly let herself out the front door.

  …

  Mikhail ran for miles. The forest was different in winter. Quieter. Lonelier. Animals were burrowed away against the winter cold. Even the birds that remained were silent.

  He’d always been more of a lone wolf, happy to be off by himself. While he was an alpha by nature, he’d never had the urge to assert himself and take control of his former pack. Instead, he’d spent days and weeks, sometimes months, by himself in the wilderness.

  In Alaska, the swaths of ice and snow went on unimpeded for miles. Here, the thick needles of the pine trees were covered in snow and the skeletal remains of the leaf-bearing trees stood like eerie sculptures against the evening sky.

  Both places he’d called home were beautiful in their own way, but no landscape, no matter how majestic and breathtaking, could compare to the beauty he’d just left behind.

  Elise LaForge stood alone in his mind.

  Coming here to Salvation, he’d finally understood why he’d been restless his entire life, never settling down, even in his former pack. He’d been searching…for her.

  His wolf growled and veered toward the left. He’d covered pack land many times and knew it well. Right now, he was headed toward an icy river for a dip. He imagined Elise had cleaned up after he’d left. No icy stream for her. No, she’d have stood in a steaming hot shower. Or maybe she’d climbed into the deep tub he’d caught a glimpse of, surrounding herself with bubbles.

  Another growl escaped him. He was horny as hell, and his thoughts weren’t helping. He kept up the hard pace until he reached his destination. Standing next to the ice-encrusted river, he shifted. His warm breath clouded in front of his face, and the icy breeze wrapped around his body. Nothing could cool down his cock. It was still hard as a rock.

  “Fuck,” he muttered as he walked to the river, careful where he put his feet so he didn’t slip. The edges were iced over, but the water still flowed freely in the center.

  It was going to be like taking an ice bath, but he didn’t know of any other way to get rid of his erection. Gritting his teeth, he waded into the water. He might be a wolf, but he was still a man, and he swore when he sat down in the frigid river and the cold enveloped his balls.

  “Fuck,” he repeated. He scooped up handfuls of water and rinsed his skin. He hated losing Elise’s scent, but it was necessary. All this skulking around didn’t sit well with him. If Mikhail had his way, he’d go straight to Jacque and tell the alpha he was courting his mother.

  But that wasn’t what Elise wanted. And she’d had enough of her wants discounted over the years by her ex. Mikhail wasn’t stupid. He knew Elise had been abused both mentally and physically. He’d watched and listened, had overheard enough snippets of conversation to know that Pierre LaForge was a man the world wouldn’t miss.

  He’d had Elise and had been too stupid to realize the treasure he had. But Mikhail was smarter. He understood just how special she was. And if it meant he had to take cold baths in an icy stream all winter to make her feel secure, then so be it.

  He stood and swiped at the icicles forming on his skin. He only hoped she’d get more comfortable with their relationship sooner rather than later.

  Mikhail shifted, not bothering to wade back to the shore first. Thick fur burst from beneath his skin, warming him. He shook the icicles from his fur and began to run once again. It didn’t take long for the remaining water to evaporate as his body heated from the exertion.

  He became aware of another wolf nearby as he got closer to the houses. It was just his luck it was one of Elise’s sons. Not the alpha, but Louis. Mikhail didn’t underestimate the man. He could have been alp
ha of his former pack if he’d chosen. It had been his decision to stay here in Salvation with his brother and the rest of them.

  Louis was also in wolf form, but by unspoken agreement, both men shifted when they got close. “I didn’t know you were patrolling.”

  Mikhail shook his head. “I wasn’t. Just out for a run, but everything is quiet.”

  Louis gazed up at the dark sky. The clouds had cleared somewhat, allowing stars to peek through. “I love winter. Not as many folks around at night.” He pinned Mikhail with a dark gaze. “You heading over to Gator’s for supper? He howled a short while ago.”

  Mikhail shook his head. “No, I’m heading back to Rina’s place.”

  Louis lips twitched. “Rina’s place. Poor Sage.”

  He knew the other wolves would rib Sage about having his brother-in-law living with him, but Mikhail didn’t care. “I could always come back to live with you and Gray.” He had no intention of doing that, but Louis didn’t know that. “Maybe I should. Rina and Sage are newlyweds, after all.”

  Louis’s smile disappeared. “No, you should be with your family.”

  Mikhail couldn’t help smiling. “I should, should I? I’m sure it has nothing to do with you enjoying having your privacy back.”

  He shook his head. “Nothing at all.” Louis stretched his arms over his head. “But let’s just say I enjoyed the afternoon with my mate.”

  Mikhail wondered how Louis would react if the younger man knew how he’d spent those same hours. Yeah, maybe Elise had the right idea about keeping things quiet for now.

  Chapter Ten

  Elise stamped her boots on the porch to remove most of the snow from them before letting herself inside Jacque’s home. She’d come here this morning, knowing he’d be concerned about her behavior from the day before. There’d been several missed calls on her phone when she’d returned home last evening. She’d also scented both sons, and knew they’d stopped by to check on her. She’d contacted them long enough to let them know she was home from taking pictures, but she’d declined their offers of company.

  She hadn’t slept well and hoped it didn’t show. Every time she’d fallen asleep, she’d dreamed, and it had been a strange combination of nightmares featuring Pierre and erotic ones about her and Mikhail.

  She was physically and emotionally exhausted. Once she’d seen the pack and had something to eat, she planned on taking a nap. She smiled at the thought of curling up in her window seat with a blanket snuggled around her. It was such a decadent pleasure, one she greatly enjoyed.

  As she’d hoped, both Jacque and Gwen were sitting at the table with their boys. Nicholas and Aaron caught sight of her, jumped out of their chairs, and raced toward her. She savored their warm hugs as they wrapped their little arms around her. Already Nicholas was growing strong. He was almost nine and the spitting image of his father at that age. Aaron was an interesting mix of both his parents. His hair was brown with blond streaks. He had his father’s facial features and his mother’s blue eyes.

  “Grand-mère.” Nicholas caught her by the hand and led her toward the table. “Come have breakfast with us. We have pancakes.”

  “You do, do you? How can I refuse pancakes?” She sat in the chair and finally looked at her son. “Good morning, Jacque.”

  “Mama.” He inclined his head. His gaze was direct and filled with the power he naturally carried. But she’d spent years looking into a far crueler gaze and didn’t flinch.

  Gwen rose, went to the kitchen, and returned with a clean plate and a cup of coffee. She put both in front of Elise. “Help yourself before the little monsters finish everything.” She rubbed her hand over Aaron’s head and gave a mock growl, making her son laugh.

  “There’s plenty, Grand-mère. You can have some of mine.” Ever the serious soul, Nicholas started to push his plate toward her.

  His gesture touched her heart. Whatever she’d done in her life, whatever she’d been through, it had led her to this moment in time. And she was very happy to be here.

  “Thank you.” She reached out and feathered her fingers down her grandson’s face. Knowing better than to make light of the boy’s gesture, she took one of his pancakes and put it on her plate. Nicholas smiled and went back to eating.

  She could feel the pride pulsating from her son. He said nothing but ran his big hand over the top of his son’s head. When Nicholas glanced up at him, Jacque gave him a nod of approval. The boy practically glowed as he continued to eat.

  Her sons had never once gotten any kind of approval from their father, and that made her heart ache. Pierre LaForge had been given two fine sons and had never appreciated them.

  “What are your plans for today?” Gwen asked.

  Elise took several more pancakes from the plate and some bacon as well. “I may put in a few hours on a quilt I’m working on.” She sometimes sewed with the group at Sylvie’s place, but she often preferred the quiet of her workroom at home. “How is the new book going?”

  It was a source of amusement for the entire pack that Gwen was a well-known author who wrote paranormal romance. Werewolf romance, to be more precise. Of course, she published under a pen name and all correspondence was routed through a postbox in Kentucky, and her email account was protected under layers of security as well. But Gwen had made a fine career for herself all these years.

  “It’s going. You know how I am.” Gwen took a bite out of a piece of bacon and chewed. “I’m slogging through the middle section. I’ll get there. I always do, even if some days I don’t think I will.”

  “And what are you doing today?” she asked her son.

  Jacque shrugged. “I need to spend a couple of hours in my office. Other than that, I may take a couple of young wolves out for a romp in the snow if they get their schoolwork done.”

  Both boys practically quivered with excitement. “May we be excused?” Nicholas asked for both boys. When Jacque nodded, they were off like a flash to their room.

  Elise sighed. “They’re so much like you and Louis at that age.”

  “God help me,” Jacque muttered under his breath.

  She couldn’t help but laugh. “The two of you could be quite a handful at times.” Not all her memories of Louisiana were bad. “Do you remember the time you brought home a baby alligator and wanted to keep him as a pet?”

  “You didn’t.” Gwen groaned. “I’m so glad there are no alligators around here.”

  Jacque looked totally unrepentant. “Louis was convinced we could train him.”

  The back door opened at that exact moment, and Louis walked in. “Do I hear someone taking my name in vain?” He slipped off his boots before coming over to give her a kiss on the cheek. “Morning, Mama.”

  Then he did the same to Gwen before heading around the table to receive his brother’s hug. Wolves were tactile creatures, and touch was a way of strengthening the bonds between them. Both men leaned forward and their foreheads met.

  Elise had to blink back the tears. She normally had better control over her emotions in public, but she was tired and out of sorts this morning.

  “Your mother was just telling us stories from your childhood,” Gwen told him.

  Louis looked wounded. “Mama.” His voice was plaintive, and he sounded just like he had when he was a little boy trying to get out of trouble.

  She couldn’t help but smile. “Remember your pet alligator?”

  Louis snorted. “I thought we should call him Ferdinand. Jacque wanted to call him Alvin.”

  “I did not. I wanted to call him Brutus.”

  Her sons’ banter made her laugh. Louis pulled out the chair next to her and sat. “That’s the sound I like to hear.” He laid his head on her shoulder. He was a grown man, a powerful wolf, but he wasn’t afraid to show his love for her. It touched her deeply.

  She ran her hand over his hair. “Were you worried about me?” Better to get everything out in the open.

  “Oui.” Jacque went to the kitchen and poured his brother a cup of co
ffee. Jacque’s father would never have served anyone. As far as Pierre had been concerned, the pack had lived to serve him.

  “It was nothing,” she told them. “Memories.” And in a way it was. The memories from the past were colliding with the present. Mikhail’s touch and his kiss had opened up wounds she’d thought were healed.

  She understood now that she’d pushed them away, burying rather than dealing with them. As a result, they were still there—a swirling mass of emotions and pain—waiting like a volcano. Needing only some catalyst to make it explode.

  Louis sighed, and Jacque swore as he set the mug in front of his brother. Elise reached out and patted his hand. “It’s okay. It’s something I have to deal with.”

  “Not alone.” This was the alpha talking, not her loving son. There was such a force of power behind that two-word proclamation.

  “There are some things I need to do for myself.” It was the first time since she’d been here that she’d gone against one of his edicts as alpha. There was a huge difference between sharing a different opinion with her son and saying no to the alpha.

  Jacque slowly sat back down at the table. “What are you saying?”

  Elise’s pulse pounded and adrenaline coursed through her body. “I’m saying this is something I have to come to terms with on my own. I thought I had, but obviously not.”

  “Don’t shut us out.” There was such pain in Jacque’s voice it made her heart ache. “Not like you did before.”

  She’d hurt both her sons by hiding the worst of the abuse she’d endured from them. She’d wanted to protect them. If they’d confronted their father, he would have killed them.

  “I did what I thought was best. You have children now,” she pointed out. “You’d do whatever you had to in order to protect them.”

  Jacque clenched his hands into tight fists but nodded. “I am alpha of this pack. It’s my job to protect you.”

  Elise stood and went to her son. She was very aware of Louis rising to stand behind her. Gwen was silent but watchful.

  She framed Jacque’s face in her hands. “There was nothing you could have done,” she told him. The last thing she wanted was either of her sons to feel guilty about the past. “Do you understand me?” She turned so she could see Louis. “Do you understand me?” she repeated.